Wow....:/

Okay...so my mom, always judges me how i look and i''m tired of it i think i'm gonna start smoking and drinking, and cutting again, Life isn't fair and easy. I promised myself i wouldn't drink nor smoke, but what can you do, I like to do that, and i can't wait till i start. :} Man life sucks cock, specially with my mom in it oh well, anyways she always cares about peoples opinions Its like "Mom stfu, and fuck off dude =_=" She really annoys me and now after she told me she wanted to fix my hair she looks at me like weirdly, idk like she doesn't give a fuck or like she hates me or like "ewh" I'm like :/ well thanks i thought you were my mom. No one in my family knows I'm emo nor goth ugh, Seriously I hate my mom. I hate life, i was about to run to my room and slit my veins so i could die :/ I've had enough and if i die, i hope Owen get someone better then me, my mom only makes faces at me, like if i were some disgusting animal. I'm done living life, "you have ahead of you." yeah fuck that i have no mother fucking life ahead of me. I'm done, I wanna grab a damn kitchen knife and slit my veins and just DIE, just die. v_v I seem dramatic eh? but it's worse then what i'm saying, Seriously ask my friend she knows what's going on with my mom and what she has done and said to me, it would be impossible going through a day without crying or feeling like some reject. :/ My mom says she cares and does caring mean "Oh people stare at you i wanna fix you" Like wtf mom you surely care about me huh ^_^?...How kind to judge me for how i look I LIKE MY BANGS AND IF YOU DON'T THEN FUCK OFF ASS HOLE. Seriously i can't standing hearing her being so judgmental about things and talking behind my back with my dad?, At least my dad treats me a bit better,I feel complicated, useless, rejected, ignored, dying on the inside and ect. I feel melancholy more then melancholy. v_v I think I'm sinking into deep depression, So many methods of dying. Yet I'm to coward to do it, I hope depression takes away my fears and just makes me end life, and everyone can move on even owen, :/ I'm sorry for being part of anyone's life. Or being ever there, cause One day I won't be there I'll be gone forever like a weight was lifted off you. :} Life would be wiped off me and i'd be gone FOREVER <3 happiness :)